We're the fairies from hell and we're all on a death wish!

Well, what an eventful evening!

Remember the penquin at work whom I was going to ignore? Well, things got off to a good start on Friday night when I successfully managed to avoid talking to her all shift except for when it was work related and there was already evidence of how attention-seeking she is when she began to whine at me for totally ignoring her. Anyway, she was not in at the weekend because she was ill but she was in again tonight and I started things off by asking if she was now feeling better? Okay, not strictly work-related per se but I was being polite and had begun to consider if maybe I was being a bit harsh and should give her a break. I had even wondered if I was wrong to delete her from my FB friends. After all, who am I to be judgemental? There could be lots of personal reasons why she is so aggressive in nature and surely I could just not banter with her but still talk to her?

Anyway tonight when I decided frack it, I would stand by my decision she began to get mouthy again calling me a prick and a wanker for ignoring her. She also decided this ostraciazation constituted a challenge and told me I had "pulled the short straw because just because I wasn't talking to her, she could still talk and bug the shit out of me!" A fellow penquin then demonstrated how she could get me to talk to her by giving me a hug, at which point the person I was ignoring began poking and prodding me about. Whilst I was attempting to chop cabbage, I should mention, so I had a knife in my hand. Anyway, I basically grabbed this person by the arm and told her "You really don't want to be messing me about; I mean it, I'm being serious...you DO NOT want to be messing me about!" I'm thinking she might have gotten the message!

Either because she saw in my eyes that I was seriously close to losing my patience with her or because I was gripping her hard enough to hurt, (unintentionally I might add) she let me go and quickly backed the frack off! Her friend later told me that I had left a mark on her arm, to which I explained that if she had not messed me about then she would not have got hurt. I didn't want things to end this way but if people will not get the hint then they need to be told! I have explained I have personal space issues and don't want these 17 year old waitresses throwing their arms all about me (and maybe most blokes are thinking at this point are you nuts but I am old enough to be all of their dads and those silly little girls really can get annoying when you are around them all the time!), but I guess sometimes you have to unleash The Dark Side if you want to get your message across!

Anyway, this paticular penquin did not talk to me for the rest of the shift and whilst this meant there was a bit of a frosty atmosphere whenever she walked through the kitchen, ultimately it felt as though the ends really do sometimes justify the means. Why did I not just explain why I was ignoring her? I'll tell ya why, because it would not have just been that ~ a simle explanation. She would have argued her corner that I was the one being aggressive, that I was the protagonist and the end result would have been the very confrontation I am tired of having and wish to avoid!

What do they say about letting sleeping dogs lie? Sometimes a dog has to bite before people learn to leave him the frack alone. And tonight, this dog's bite was much worse than his bark. But a silly little girl learnt a valuable lesson, one hopes!

If she is going to call me a prick and a wanker, then maybe I will be one if it gets her to back off and leave me alone.

Till next time..... woof woof from The Big W.....this is the rabid dog signing out until the next time he has to bite xxxx

Throw away...yesterday, Today is a brand new day

Just thought I'd pop by and give everyone a bit of an update on whats new in my life at the moment. Not much by all accounts but there a few things I wanted to talk about...

Firstly, I have started to have a bit of an issue with one of the penquins at work. I'm not going to mention names as I know that a couple of them from The Hotel have occasionally read this and I don't really want things to go any further than they have already ~ though there will be those who read this who will know immediately who I'm talking about! Anyway, she has this whole aggressive attitude thing going on and me, her and Bon Jovi Roy have all got into the habit of sharing a bit of banter. Anyway, she claims she doesn't much like it and yet she still insists on dishing it out whenever she's on shift. It seems to be okay for her to go about throwing it all about, but as soon as you return the favour and she runs out of witty things to say then she seems to constantly resort to abuse. Not that I'm bothered by that, I actually think it's quite funny, but it's like if you can't take it hon, then don't dish it out. I know she is only 17 so technically me and Roy should probably know better but in the kind of enviroment we work in, it is hard not to respond when she starts spouting off.

Anyway things came to a head the other day on FB when I made a comment on one of her photos and we started exchanging what I thought was banter when she seemingly got all defensive and started getting hostile. Which is fine but I have kind of had enough of it now. If she wants to be like thast then fine but I am taking the higher ground and am going to refuse to respond. This person has now been eliminated from my Friends list on FB and I have decided that from now on, I am going to ignore her at work and essentially ostracize her whenever she tries to talk to me about anything not work-related! I doubt very much whether she will be too bothered by this and I doubt she even cares whether she is on my FB Friends list or not but I am not doing it to get back at her. I am doing it because I am tired of her getting on her high horse and acting all defensive whenever anyone says anything she doesn't like. Basically, talking with her and exchanging insults has begun to get quite tiring and it exhausts me just trying to have a conversation with her so frak her! It's not the first time I have taken such measures. A few years back, there was a Receptionist at work with whom I had issues with so I gave her the silent treatment and refused to talk to her. I remember she got quite pissed off at that but hey, my mother always said "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" so really I am just following my mother's advice!

The second thing is that I have started drawing and painting again! I haven't picked up my pad and watercolour pencils in ages but recently, re-reading IT by Stephen King, I have felt inspired and my muse has come back. For several days, my thoughts have been haunted and plagued by images of the clown, Pennywise, standing at the outskirts of Derry whilst, in the background, The Dark Tower looms over the town. It got to the stage where I had even begun sketching out ideas of how I wanted the clown to look, a whole lot scarier than Tim Curry's portrayal of Pennywise in the awful, awful mini-series they made of IT, and of how the picture would come together on the page. Then finally Wednesday, on my day off, I started it and though I have not yet done much, I have got as far as almost completing Pennywise, I am pleased with the initial results. I could talk about how, when I find my muse, the picture almost draws itself; how although I have an idea how I want it to turn out, the truth is I am never quite sure how it will until the painting is complete. But, unless you have an artistic streak in you, these things often sound daft. The fact is, I can only really paint and draw when I feel like a picture is right and this feels right. Don't ask me why but it does. I may not be as good an artist as I would like to be but I am hoping that, by watching her daddy paint, it will also inspire Emilie to start drawing. At the moment, she seems to enjoy putting pen, pencil or crayon to paper but all she can manage is scribbles. But the fact that she even gets simple enjoyment out of that is encouraging to me and I hope we can spend time in the future when she is older, drawing and painting pictures together. I have already got her interested in books by reading to her and she is quite happy to pick up one of her Peppa Pig's on her own and sit there turning the pages and talking to herself; almost as if she is making up her own stories to go with the pictures. Being a dad is so unbelievably rewarding and I never could have imagined, before Emilie, that I would get so much pleasure teaching her simple, basic things! Every moment spent with her is such a delightful joy!!

Talking of IT by stephen King (5), this is my fifth choice for my list of 1001 books to read before you die. I have read it like 10 times now over something like fifteen years and I never get bored of it. Each time I go back, it is like reuniting with lost friends and forgotten memories. It is my favourite ever Stephen King book and easily the best thing he has ever written! It tells the story of six friends who are called back as adults to their childhood home by the friend they left behind when a series of gruesome murders start occurring. Twenty-seven years ago, the seven of them confronted something that preyed on the town and swore on their blood that they would come back if the murders ever started again. Now they have...and it is time for those seven to finish what they started and take on IT; a creature that preys on the young and the helpless, feeds on the anger and fears of the town and can change shape to resemble that of which you are most scared of! It is an awesome book, to my mind like the film STAND BY ME (also a story by Stephen King originally) but with monsters in! It is also a story with two acts: the first set in late fifties America, the second in the mid-eighties where a group of adults have to face the fears they thought they had left behind them as a child.

IT will not be the last Stephen King book that makes my 1001 list, but it is by far the most important to me and one of the greatest novels I have ever read in my life! And trust me when I say I read a lot!!!

formspring.me

if you could only read 1 book for the rest of your life what would it be?

Aah touche- I think it would have to be either Stephen King's IT which is my favourite ever of all his novels or THE TALISMAN written by Stephen King and Peter Straub in collboration. If pushed for a definbitive descision, it would be The Talisman! I soo love that book to bits and have read it like 10 times or something though not now for a few years!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Is it true what they say about you?Are you really the sexiest chef in the East?;-)

Yes it is true! Totally...it has been rumoured that in some parts of Norfolk I am even considered to be a pin-up....especially for members of the Blind and Senile persuasion or those who have a fancy for Daniel Radcliffe. In fact, many people ask me if I'm his dad! :(

Ask me anything

A little thought....

So comedian Jason Mandford has this joke he tells about how he can prove that getting kicked in the balls hurts more than giving birth! He theorises that if you kick a guy in the balls, he doesn't turn around a couple of years later and ask you to do it again. A woman, however, gives birth after hours and hours of excruciating labour then turns around a few years later and says "how about we try for another baby?" I think the evidence speaks for itself!

Unfortunately, women on the whole don't seem to see the funny side of this little witticism......

Especially if they've been pregnant!!

Question time....

So I've found this new site where random people can ask you all sorts of questions and you can publish your answers. It's called Formspring.me and here is the link to my page....http://www.formspring.me/sparkymarky1973 There are already a few questions on there which I was randomly given to get me started, so if you fancy a chuckle or want to ask me anything you know where to go....lol!

The drugs DO work..thank you very much!

Well contrary to my last Blog post, I have now succumbed to taking some Co-Codemol as those shooting pains were starting to get on my tits! Depending on your view, I have either shown my weak will by taking them again or was bloomin' stoopid for not taking them in the first place when it is bloody obvious that I am not yet 100% better!!

Heres hoping they kick in soon.......idiot!!!!

Look mum...no pills!

I have decided today, for the first time in nearly three weeks, to try and go without any painkillers! I had really bad back pain Tuesday and Wednesday this week due to the Shingles and have been taking a combination of Ibruprofen and Co-codemol to keep the shooting pains in my left side in check but this morning when I got up, my back didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it has done. There is some aching right now but it is bearable and the shooting pains are greatly reduced though still present so am going to try and get through the day without the pills!! That may change later however.....meanwhile I am about halfway through reading Slumdog Millionaire or Q And A as it was formerly known, Though not as good as the film (and is that because I saw the film first?) it is still a great book all about a young boy growing up in the slums of India who finally manages to come good!

Continuing my list of 1001 books to read before you die, my next choice is another couple of books that I have mentioned before. Again I am including them both together because they are written by the same author but also because they cover a related subject. I am talking of course about (4)Wild Swans and Mao;the untold story both written by Jung Chang, but the latter also in collaboration with her husband Jon Halliday. I first encountered Wild Swans when it was chosen as the book choice for a read-a-long with my online book group that I infrequently visit. A read-a-long is where you read one chapter a week of a chosen book so that you can discuss each chapter as you get to it collectively rather than reading the whole thing and then talking about it. Wild Swans talks about three generations of Jung Chang's family and the hardships they all experienced growing up in China. It was a highly engrossing read and I remember being quite shocked in an early chapter reading details about foot-binding and how they would break the toes of Chinese women to constrict their feet. I had heard of such practices but to actually read the grisly details of how it is done left me breathless. This was just one of several moments when I was shocked and disturbed by what I was reading and yet, I had to carry on because I felt as though I was being enlightened by another way of life of which I confess I knew very little. When I had finished Wild Swans, I felt like I wanted to know more about the regime in which these people lived.And so it was that I picked up Jung Chang's companion volume which claims to be the definitive biography of Mao. This was much harder going but very rewarding and revealed details of this Dictator's life which had never been allegedly examined before. There is some suggestion that some of the details rasised in her book have since been refuted but as China, by it's very nature, is a very private Country from which very little truth escapes I am more inclined to believe something written by someone who lived under Mao's rule rather than anything written by someone from outside. And whether or not the book is entirely accurate, there is no question that any other book since or before has been so concise and so detailed or revealed so much about a man who is still reverred by the Chinese people long after his death; despite the fact that he was responsible for the deaths of millions!

Both these books are compulsive reading and I would not hesitate to reccommend them to anyone!!

Being...Sparky

Well, so much for keeping you updated lots this week- cannot believe the week has gone already! Shingles is better but still getting shooting nerve pain in the form of twinges in my left side so on regular doses of Co-Codemol and Ibruprofen to keep them at bay. Apart from that, not been up to much except sorting through the house a bit and trying to post a few reviews on Dooyoo. Bit gutted that I didn't get through more books this week but think I did okay considering that nowadays I also have Emilie to contend with. Not that shes demanding (much) but she does crave a lot of attention and really thats no bad thing as I don't see a lot of her in an average working week. It's kind of nice to be the centre of her world and actually be able to enjoy it while it lasts. Gawd knows, in a few years when she's a teenager she's probably not gonna wanna know so in some ways better make these moments last while they're here! lol!

Also caught the first episode of BEING ERICA tonight; a Canadian show that has been floating around on E4 for a few months now and have heard rave reviews about. This girl, Erica, feels as though her life is a mess then meets this mysterious Therapist who promises to put right the things that are wrong in her life. He asks her to make a list of some of the points in her life where she felt things went wrong and then, each week, she finds herself reliving different episodes of her past and being given a chance to change their outcome. Hearing the premise, I was suitably intrigued ~ being a big fan of time travel stories and all ~ and I can honestly say it's actually really good! It's not too chick-flick like and really fun, especially getting to relive some of the music that was about when I was growing up! (Erica as an adult is 32 so theres not much difference between our ages!)

This is without question a show I am going to have to catch again next week. Especially as the whole Therapist idea has yet to be fully explained. How can he send Erica seemingly back in time and what is his purpose in doing so? Hopefully if I keep watching, I might get some answers but not too quickly one hopes....

My third choice for my 1001 books you really need to read before you die is : (3)Stephen King's From A Buick 8. Basically a traditional haunted house ghost story without the house, the plot revolves around a mysterious Buick Roadmaster that is discovered abandoned at a gas station by Pennslyvania Police Troopers responding to a call. The Buick gets towed back to the Troopers State Barracks and is then stored in Shed B where it resides for the next few decades. Years later when Trooper Curtis Wilcox is killed by a drunk driver, his son starts hanging around the barracks in a bid to get to know some of the people his father worked alongside. Seeing the Buick hidden away, he begins to ask questions and the last surviving Troopers who were there on the day the car was found, all take it in turns to finally tell the story of all that has occurred over the last thirty years. For the Buick is an anomally that really doesn't make any sense; a car that really shouldn't be able to be driven with lots of imperfections and perculiarities and is a secret that Troop D have been keeping all this while.

At it's most basic, the Buick 8 is a conduit to another reality, a parallel dimension as it were, but the car also seems to be able to exert some kind of influence over the lives and the people who surround it. As the Troopers tell its tale, Ned Wilcox finds himself being drawn closer and closer into some kind of inner circle and slowly comes to realise that the Buick also has a hold over him...

This is a controversial novel in some ways for King because not only is it not set in Maine where all his books are set but also because it is a book ultimately that doesn't have any answers and, for that reason, there are as many fans who hate this book as there are love it. I come into the latter category obviously and it is one of my favourites of all his works but it doesn't feel sometimes like a Stephen King novel if that makes any sense. Its restropective narrative is similar in style to his writing in The Green Mile but it is a fairly light and easy read also in the style of someone like Dean Koontz. My best way of describing it is by saying that, for me, it is King's version of House Of Leaves (which I will come to at a later stage) but less complicated in the way it is set out (which I will also explain at a later date!). That too is a book without any real answers but the difference here is that there is no doubt over the veracity of the narrators. It is a disturbing novel and there are some quite nasty moments (especially for anyone who is a dog-lover) towards the end and yet it is also a very compelling read! Some have linked it to Stephen King's Dark Tower mythos but any links are tenuous at best and I think anyone who truly believes it to be part of that ongoing story arc are trying too hard to see paterns where there are none. Nonetheless, it is definetly in my top 5 Stephen King books of all time and that is why it is included!