Saturday, 14 February 2009

Don't believe the hype....

Just signing in to give you a bit of an update on today and let you all know that I'm feeling a bit happier now than I was earlier...thats the problem with my...well, I don't like to call it depression but I guess thats what it is when you break it down....it comes in waves -breaking on the shores of my sub conciousness and leaving a wash of emotions before dissapating, leaving me to deal with the flotsam and jetsam left behind. Or something....

Actually if I felt like I did earlier all the time, I would probably be more worried and inclined to do something about it but now I feel more like the old Sparky again and it is as though this morning's Blog entry never happened. Re-reading it, I am almost tempted to erase it except I remember something my best friend Sarah told me when I used to Blog on MYSPACE. She said I should not delete my posts if they came from the heart and were heartfelt. Or something like that anyway, I'm paraphrasing cos I don't remember the exact words but the sentiment was the same!

Which reminds me to say a big thankyou to two of my friends who read this today and texted me with kind words because they were worried about me. Trust me theres nothing to worry about, Sparky just gets like that sometimes. But I do appreciate the thought and you don't know how much it meant to read your messages when I finished work tonight.

Like I said, work was nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated tonight. Actually it was pretty much okay and thats about as good as it gets at the minute!! I had to make profiteroles and HC made a comment about what nice profiteroles they were and I know it's only a small thing but that comment actually made me feel a bit good about myself and gave me a little boost of confidence. You see it really is the little things that make the difference sometimes.

Feeling much more optimistic and upbeat than I was earlier and it is almost as if that was a different person; it's like I have more than one person inside of me- bright, witty, confident Sparky and dark, miserable, depressed Sparky who sees the bad in everyone and cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel and even if he could see the light, it would probably only be a train coming to smush him anyway....

Anyway, this is me.....back to normal and feeling happy again. Thankyou, all of you, for listening to me whinge and hope you all have a good nights sleep....

For tomorrows another day, and who knows what tomorrow will bring......


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

angelfruit said...

Glad that you're back in an 'up sparky' mode :O)