Saturday, 21 February 2009

I'm still here you know!

Just a quick update to let everyone know I am still here and Blogging....I've not yet given up the ghost! Actually I've been reluctant to post because I didn't feel I had a lot to tell you. Felt a bit anxious Monday but more because it was so hectic at work than anything else, and had almost convinced myself to go and see my G.P but then thinking iut over since, have had second thoughts again. A couple of friends (whom I didn't know were on pills) have confessed to taking Anti-d's and have shared their experiences in private. One said they help with her panic attacks but that she never feels like her "old self" anymore and another said that life now is like watching your reflection in a dirty window. You can see yourself doing stuff but it is like you are always detached from it and that it almost feels as though you could be watching someone else's life. But that she is calmer inside. I am not sure if I want to be like that and it convinces me a little bit that I am strong enough to face things on my own but then, when I feel like I did last Friday, I do not feel strong enough and know I should seek professional help if only for a chat and some advice. I am still firmly on the fence right now but will make a descision in due course. Think I have enough else to deal with at mo....

My excema has come back on my chest a little; due no doubt to stress at work! The doctor said last time that that was what probably aggravated it though it runs in my family through my dad so I am genetically pre-disposed towards skin conditions. Don't even get me started on my sister who has had excema, soriosis, asthma and god alone knows what else during her lifetime. We don't exactly get on but you have to have a bit of sympathy for everything she has had to put up with!

The Third Chef who was leaving- well he's leaving on Friday!! He hasn't told me anything and everything I have heard has been mostly through hearsay though I don't know why it's such a big secret and why he avoids the subject. He is going to be a taxi driver instead!

I spoke to the Head Chef and he thought I already knew which is why he didn't say anything to me before. Apparently TC didn't even tell him in person, he saw the owner's son and talked to him, gave him his notice and HC only found out when the manager came in and said to TC "What's this?" branding his notice. He has not even given 4 weeks as he agreed with the owner's son that he could go earlier- this despite the fact that we are short-handed and extremely busy!

I will give you an example- we are doing between the hours of 12-4, anything from 170 ppl for lunch onwards EVERY DAY!!!!! Some days it is more than that! Plus functions!!
It is near imossible to keep up with all the veg prep and mis-en-place that is needed as it is and now there is talk that they will not actively seek to replace TC just yet when he goes next week!! We are so busy because of this £3.50 carvery deal we run daily mon-sat 12-6. Plus we are now delivering roast dinners to ppl's door in a new delivery service and that is taking off! I strongly suspect that we will be doing 6 day weeks soon but I am damned if I am going to do the long days I have been doing until now!! You can end up doing anything up to a 12 hour shift with only the smallest of breaks! Monday I worked from 9 in the morning until 10.30 at night and got little over an hour off in afternoon.This was because it was soo busy and we were getting low on veg prep and if I hadn't have stayed in afternoon we would have begun running out. Plus the new a la carte menu starts every monday (it is changed slightly on a weekly business) so have to do prep for that or we will get in the poop. It is very hard at minute so it is no wonder I am getting het up and stressed out!! With TC gone that leaves me, HC, Martin Abernathy who is okay but neither the most responsible or capable chef in the world and a young commis called Ross who is only 16!! The head chef from our sister hotel is supposed to be coming down to supervise, see where we can manage more effeciently and help us cope next week but, from all accounts, he is a bit blunt and am not sure I will get on with him! Also I am thinking he might get a bit of a shock when he sees how busy we are....

Right gotta go get my lunch ready!! I have to leave just after 11 as my shift today starts from 12-finish. Which will be around 10.30-ish again. Another long day and next week might be my last week of 2 and a 1/2 days off for awhile so have that to look forward to too!!

Grrrrrrr I hate my job sometimes but y'know, sometimes I do love it too or else I wouldn't still be doing it after 15 years!!

Sparky going bye-bye....wa wa waaaaaaaah!!

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