Monday 5 January 2009

'Aint misbehavin'

So saturday night we shipped the little one off to the grandparents and me and Mrs.Sparky actually went out for the night!! It was her uncle's sixtieth birthday party at a small village hall out in the sticks somewhere and there was a free bar!! Sounded like it might have been a drag at first but actually it ended up being alright.

Of course Sparky had a few sherberts and got a little puddled and, as Sparky is known to, made "a bit of a tit" of myself to quote the wife. I think I had seven or eight cans of Kronenbourg between half seven and around midnightish but the counting may be a little off as when they went to clear up later that night, there were a couple of three cans still half full. Methinks I got up to get fresh beers when I mistakenly thought I was getting close to the bottom of the cans and then forgot about them and just carried on drinking the new beers instead.....either that or I abandoned them as they started to get a little warm. If theres one thing I can't stand, it's
a warm beer....all I'll say it was a good job I didn't start on the Vodka....

Some of my naughty antics included wiping my wet hands on Mrs.Sparky after coming out of the toilet (AND YES I DID WASH THEM-THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY THEY WERE WET), continually trying to kiss her (I get a bit lovey-dovey when I'm drunk) and eating a whole bowl of twiglets in one mouthful. Not something I would recommend as they are very dry. The only thing I've done which was worse was try to eat a teaspoon of cinnamon this one time- not a good idea, look it up on YOUTUBE before you try that one!! I also tried to eat 18 pringles in one go on saturday night as a follow-up to a stunt I pulled the week before at a party at the mother-in-laws. My brother-in-law's new girlfriend had told us her sister could fit 17 pringles in her mouth at once so I tried to fit 20 in mine. Result- lots of crisp crumbs and Sparky nearly choking (I was sober that time) which is why this time around I only tried 18!! Needless to say- don't try this at home either....

There were a couple of singers at the party- one camp, chubby bloke and an oriental girl who called herself Vannessa Mae. Cue Sparky mentioning several times to different people that she should get her violin out. Yes, I can be very annoying when I'm a little under the influence- god knows how Mrs.Sparky puts up with me- thank god I don't drink too often. I once embarrassed her late one night in the middle of Norwich when I was a bit drunk by shouting out at the top of my voice that I loved her as she waited at the bus stop for the last bus.....are you seeing a recurring
pattern here....pmsl

Mind, she couldn't have been too mad at me and my behaviour because she ran me into work the next day when she went to pick up the little one from my 'rents.

I am a tad worried about my recurring habit of sticking my finger up in pictures taken of me when I am a little puddled though. Its becoming a bit of a trademark in photos of me- at this rate, I'm not gonna be able to show Emilie any pictures of me till she's much older as they will all be rude lol! I was brought up so much better than that honest.....wasn't I mum? Mum....mum....

(cue the sound of Sparky being disowned...lol)

2 comments:

Jo said...

Pisshead!!! We must get you drunk when we arrange the next meet, then I can video you and put it on YouTube! :p

sparkymarky1973 said...

That'll be a sight pmsl!