B3TA ate my hamster....redux

Recently the website B3TA had another of their regular image challenges, the theme of which this time was movie mash-ups. Here are a selection of my favourites...

I also would like to point out that only two people have responded for my request for questions so far which either suggests that only two people are currently reading my Blog, which is fine by the way ~ I don't mind being ignored, or that you are all a bunch of uninventive and unimaginative bastards who can't come up with anything even remotely funny or interesting to ask me. Which is also fine, because it just proves that a} either I am the most intelligent of all of you or that b}I am that boring that none of you really care what I think anyway and you are only reading this because it means you don't want to do any work in the office and it'll kill 5 mins or so before you go hunting down more of those really unfunny and tiresome E-mails to forward round the office. Y'know the ones that always seem to do the rounds even though everyone has probably seen them like a million gadzillion times before and never found them funny in the first place.

Oh and to Kendie and Ann Nonymous.....I WILL respond to your questions, I even have the answers all prepared and ready in my head, I just can't be bothered right now. But I promise, I will publish the answers in my next Blog which will probably be next week on my week off. I have some new ideas for my Blog next week so keep 'em peeled folks! Till then...ciao and thank frak that HC is back from his holiday this week so I don't have to be in charge anymore....

Quick Blog....

Had a dream last night that I worked with Marco Pierre White ~ woke up thinking "actually that Marco's alright really..." and a bit confuddled, as you can be upon waking, what was dream and what was reality...makes a change from dreaming about work! Been Twittering a bit last couple of weeks ~ find myself using it like a mini-Blog and thought rather than keep writing essays, why don't I just Blog little bits on here more often instead of big chunks once every six weeks?

Here a few of my random tweets completely out of all context....

"I measured @sparkymarky1973's e-Penis on http://www.epenis.nl/ and his e-Penis is 11.7cm! ~ hmm well thats certainly reasonable rofl :)"

"why does being a parent suddenly make you much more critical of other parents?"

"hmm mustard coloured poo- what does her mum feed her when i'm not here?"

"very quiet here so far 2day...guess I'll have to just keep tweeting myself + thats not an euphenism.."

"oh yummy- took the scab off my burnt arm in bath this morning....thinking maybe i should post a picture.....or NOT!"

"just got home~drove back listening to classic fm and gorging on bertie bassett's finest! Who says i'm not cultured?"

"note to self- shut patio doors when raining!"

"like the Lego chainsaw massacre or something...very scary!"

"sparkymarky1973 thinks "what the frack has it got to do with you what I'm bleedin' doing snouty!" Spelled it right that time!!"

For those not in the know, yes Twitter is just like Facebook Status but without all the social networking, applications or fun! But I have had one of my comments re-tweeted by Jason Manford the comedian (when a person posts your comment for all their followerrs to read and attributes it to you) so that's pretty cool!

Ask me anything...

Looking for inspiration, have been looking at other people's Blog pages lately and one of the things some people have done is post little Q and A's about themselves on their Blog so thought it might be fun to do one myself. But, I want the people who read this to pose me the questions....so if you read this on my Facebook Notes and have a burning question you want me to answer then send me a message with your question. Alternatively, post me a comment on Blogger here ~ you don't have to leave your name if you want to be anonymous and I promise to answer all questions honestly or if not, humorously...

So c'mon people, Sparky's waiting.....

LegoLand pictures

If you go down to The Woods today....

Well, it is over a month since last Blogged so thought I had better get my arse in gear and update everyone who reads this ~ and there are more of you than I could have imagined as I am discovering that more and more people I know are reading this which is only a good thing. Work has not changed that much of late ~ a new chef due to start didn't turn up last week but we have got a couple of Kitchen Porters just starting; one of whom is a Geordie and very good so far in that he helps with veg prep and carving when we need him too and puts his colleagues to shame with how swiftly he gets things done in comparison! His name is Ed and every time I talk to him, I find myself developing a Geordie accent in my head! Sunday just gone, I worked my arse off with a thirteen hour non-stop shift in chronic heat and felt absolutely knackered monday and tuesday even though monday was very, very quiet. By tuesday night, I felt as though my feet were going to kill me they hurt so much! I am not sure how much longer I can keep doing this but there is nothing else about at minute and believe me I am trying. The Agencies I joined have sent my C.V to a few places apparently but they are about having as much result as a chocolate teapot!

Wednesday, decided to go to beach and thought I would visit Sheringham as went to Cromer a few weeks ago with just me and Emilie (Mrs.Sparky works wednesdays) and we had a great time building sand castles etc...unfortunately, after spending some time in town, we got down to beach to find there is no sand at Sheringham- it is all stones! Looks like they have been put there artifically as a sea barrier kind of thing but sure it was not always like that! Mind~ though I have been to Sheringham a few times over last couple of years, I have not really been down to their beach since I was ickle. By that time it was too late to move over to nearby Cromer and still get back in time for Emilie's tea so found a sandy kids play area and we played in that for a while instead! Still not the same!

Thursday, yesterday, 13 of us went to Legoland in Windsor. Pictures will be on FB soon and will post a few on here also! It was amazing but a very expensive day out even though we only paid half price for the tickets thanx to Mrs.Sparky's best friend who works for a well known burger chain and got us vouchers from their most recent promotion! There were only three kids ~ Emilie and Mrs.Sparky's best friend's two boys ~ and the rest of us were all grown-ups. It was a lot of fun and I even went on several rides which is unlike me! There was a log flume ~ which we went on twice because the first time it broke down while we were on it and we had to abandon~ a pirate ship, spinning tea-cups which left us very dizzy and giddy and a water barrel ride that spun you along some rapids and which gave me very wet feet and a wet arse! We took a picnic with us but they did this good thing with the drinks where if you bought a refillable cup for £4.90 then you got free soft drink refills all day which worked out very well!!

I think Emilie enjoyed it though it was a long day for her (and all of us) and we brought her back some Duplo which she has been playing with today. Bex (Mrs.Sparky's friend) suggested we do something similar again if we can get vouchers for somewhere else as we are all off thursdays who went yesterday so works out alright! That would be great as yesterday was a phenomenal day that really was just simply excellent!

The worst bit was the journey home ~ we got stuck in traffic coming out of Windsor, then stopped to feed Emilie and get some tea ourselves and so didn't get home till gone eleven. Nearly had an incident with the car too as once we reached Swaffham, I kind of switched off a bit thinking I know the way from here to home and ended up going wrong way cos not paying attention. Found myself on an unfamiliar road and Sat Nav told me to turn round and go back. Unfortunately in the dark and not knowing where I was, I didn't realise we were on a dual bit of road- luckily there was no harm done apart from a scare for Mrs.Sparky but it goes to show why you have to be a bit savvy with Sat Nav! I always took the piss out of these people who drove over cliffs because the Sat Nav directed them that way but in the dark and confused as I was, I nearly did a similar thing!! If the Sat-Nav hadn't told me to turn around, I would've kept driving till I found a way of turning back- it's no excuse but I was tired and had a long day so followed the Sat Nav blindly! Won't make that mistake again ~ that Sat nav is proving to be less than reliable on a few occassions now- it gets you where you want to go but sometimes tells you to take second exit at a roundabout when at a t-junction just as an example or tells you to stay left when it means take the slip-road on left off the motorway/ carriageway! It is often slightly less than clear at times but Mrs.Sparky paid for it so it's her loss!

Right, next thing I need to do is write a letter to my mate Sarah but will probs do that next week! Have not got that much to say because most of it is here and I know she reads this so don't need to repeat myself but it is sooo nice to recieve a hand written letter in the post and I sooo love it WHEN she writes to me so least I can do is return the favour. She'll need to text me her new address first though as she is moving to Leeds from Hull to start her new life training as some kind of social worker type. I think it will do her a whole heap of good and it must be very rewarding to think that you will be helping others and bettering their lives so hope she gets a lot out of it! GOOD LUCK SARAH!

Right that really is it now- will try not to leave it so long next time...laters ~ I will try not to be a stranger! SPARKYxxxxx
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