One at a time please.....

Have decided that should only get one book out of library at a time at moment because when I get out more, my TBR pile does not end up getting touched and doesn't go down. It took me sooo long to read THE TERROR, over a week in fact which is a long stretch for me, and now I have two others to read as well; one the final part in a fantasy trilogy, the other a debut from a crime author I recently discovered called Jack Kearley. Actually have almost finished the latter because it is a lite read but must pick something on my TBR pile next!! Think I should read one TBR for each library book I pick up- that would work!!

Back to work later for 4 hours; have got tonight off because I worked wednesday! Still pissed off with work and really need a holiday but only got to wait until beginning of may so not long now. Am also going to book 2 weeks off together at some stage so I get a really long break as we all know I could do with it! HC has got 2 weeks together booked in September so why can't I? Know though that I will not want to go back when I am done!!

Anyway, thats all for now folks- short and sweet for today; speak to you laters xxxxx Sparky :)

And don't do it again!

Well survived the Speed Awareness Course that I had to take as my punishment for doing 37 mph in a 30 zone at 11:35 at night and getting caught and must say, it wasn't a total waste of 4 hours but wouldn't want a repeat performance. Good job as if I get caught again in the next three years, then I get points without any consideration and don't get another chance to do the course!

One of the guys, the bloke in charge- Kevin, was a bit of a 50p and thought he was like the Head Teacher at a school or something but his colleague, Matt, was a lot lighter in tone if not in stature and made the morning a bit more relaxed. There were a whole host of different people, ages and cultures there though most of the people attending were older than me. On the way, there was an accident on the Watton Road that leads to the UEA but luckily it didn't make me late! I couldn't help thinking wouldn't it be ironic if I got caught putting my foot down on the way to the course to avoid being late (if you're late, they threaten you with no entry and you have to pay again!) but made sure I watched my speed so this didn't happen!

They showed us several Road Safety videos, both old and new, that were familiar from the telly and went on a lot about changing the attitudes and awareness of society to the point that speeding is no longer deemed acceptable and becomes as taboo as drink driving has become. One of the things I learnt was that although only 1 out of 20 ppl are killed if hit at 20 mph and 4 out of 20 at 30 mph, the figure jumps dramatically to 11 out of 20 when you hit 30-ish.....i.e 35mph!!! Thats quite a jump for so small an increase!! At 40 mph the figure goes up to 18 out of 20 and it's not even worth talking about after that as the remaining two people will probably go on to die from their injuries after a month!!

Certainly helps put things into perspective a bit when you think how many of us do 30-ish thinking it doesn't make much difference!!

Another thing I learnt was that if you are intending to turn off a main road headed right, you should angle your car to the left whilst waiting for a gap in traffic. This is because a guy locally who was waiting to turn right recently and had turned his wheel a half-turn to the right in anticipation, was hit up the arse and pushed into oncoming traffic-straight into the path of a 10 ton Arctic Lorry and was killed instantly!!! If he had angled his wheels the other way, he would have gone into a hedge and survived with walking wounded injuries! Very scary thought when I think how many times I turn my wheel half-a-turn when going right! Won't do that anymore!!

They also did some psychological tests to test our perception and illustrate blind spots and these were quite fun and interesting too! If you go on the course and have to watch a video of people playing basketball, my tip is look for the gorilla no matter what the instructors tell you! For anyone who has done the course, this will hopefully make some sense though I don't know if that paticular demostration was just local to Norfolk!

So anyway, no it wasn't like The Breakfast Club; yes, I did get some benefit and yes, I will be watching the speedometer like a hawk for next few years! Am not going to get caught again if I can help it! I did get a free(??!!)copy of The Highway Code so didn't even come away empty-handed but, seeing as how the instructors told us most of the original information was compiled in 1935 and has not been amended just added to, not sure how much that is worth!

Anyway, back to work shortly and Emilie is getting grisly cos I am writing this and not paying the little Diva any attention so until next time Sayonara! xxxx Sparky

Don't you...forget about me...hey hey hey hey!

Had a detox day today from computer which, for those of you who know me, know that on my day off that is VERY unusual!! The only other time that has happened is when P.C played up and we couldn't use it! Didn't intend it like that-just found lots of other stuff to keep me occupied like taking Emilie to the park and swings which she absolutely loved!! Actually let her walk most of the way rather than using pushchair and only had to pick her up when we crossed the road walking back home and when we had to ascend a slope to get to play area. Had to go into work tonight though to cover for the Head Chef who had phoned in sick so, as you can well imagine, was not best pleased- in fact was pretty pissed off in fact. Thankfully it was fairly quiet- just restaurant, no functions- and he will be back to work tomorrow. Must have been one of them "24 hr" viruses then....

It's a good job really as I have my speed awareness/safety course tomorrow at 9 am at the University Of East Anglia Sport-Park (or Norwich UEA as we know it). Not sure what to expect but have in mind something like The Breakfast Club!!! I see myself in the Judd Nelson role for those who have seen the film though, when I was at school, I was more like the nerd, played by the guy who now stars in the T.V series of The Dead Zone, crossed with the character played by Ally Sheedy; a weirdo with a personality disorder who is a compulsive liar to begin with and who, it turns out, shouldn't even be in Detention, she just "didn't have anything better to do on a Saturday!!

My favourite scene is where all the teens are whistling the theme from The Great Escape when the teacher walks in and all you hear is Judd Nelson's character whistling "Da da da daaaaaah!!" That and the scene where Judd Nelson is crawling across the ceiling tiles to return to the Dention room after being segregated for mis-behaviour!! What a classic film!!

The Breakfast Club is my favourite all-time '80's movie closely followed by The Lost Boys, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Uncle Buck and Pretty In Pink. Man. I used to fancy the pants off Molly Ringwald!!! Always remember her in Sixteen Candles, a less well known flick in which her parents forget her sweet sixteenth- back in the day, everything she starred in for me was gold!!!

Anyway, I digress...will let you know how I get on with Speed Awareness tomorrow!! No doubt it will be nothing like The Breakfast Club and I will be throughly bored.... but you never know I might learn something! I have visions of us all sitting in a circle and having to stand up and say "I'm Sparky and I'm a reckless and irresponsible driver!" like we're in Alcoholics Anonymous or something.....

Right, gotta go...Mrs.Sparky is getting narky!! Will see you tomorrow little Sparkettes...xxxxxxx Sparky

Hide and seek.....

So, have made the descison to restrict who can see my Blog on Facebook and have removed the link on my Profile page so that the only people on FB who can read it are those I so choose. I did this because I didn't want certain people reading it simply because it showed up on Facebook but also because my mum is on FB and there are things I have been discussing that I would rather my mum didn't read; not that she uses Facebook much even if she is on it, but there is always the possibility she might while it remains on FB!

The person who sent me the quite abrupt comment recently about my depression, apparently can no longer find this according to her husband, the manager of my Hotel and a mate who goes back a long way, and that is no bad thing but I'm not hiding anything. If she wants to find this, then she can damn well work at it, I'm not going to make things easy for her for the simple reason that I enjoy being awkward. I am quite perturbed that Richard, my manager, has read portions of my Blog but amazingly I am not as bothered about it as I thought about it even if he has been taking the michael a bit at work because I kep a Blog. But the thing about Richard is that he might be a bit of a t**t but he is who he is; what you see is what you get and that is why I will always have a certain amount of respect for him even if I am reluctant to let him know such things. After all, I wouldn't want him to get a big head now would I?

There's a lot of shit flying around at work at the minute which I am not going to get into but I think I am dealing with it better than I have been in recent days? Weeks? Basically I am just trying to keep my head down, do my job and go home but it's not always that easy. Still, if I can remain positive and just get through it then eventually all this will pass; I just have to be patient.....

Anyway, that'll do for now. Can't be arsed to write anything more so until the next time....

see you later Alligator...Sparky xxxx

The post with no name......

It has been awhile since I last posted so thought I had better write something so y'all don't think I have given this whole Blog thing up! Went to the doctors and she basically had a chat with me and asked me some questions about symptoms I had exhibited and although I did not score high on any of the symptoms she asked me about, she did say that because the only one I didn't suffer from at all was trouble with sleeping patterns, that this was obviously indicative of something wrong. She reccommended me with a counselling session in about three weeks time and asked me if I was doing anything to alleviate symptoms of my depression. I asked her about Kalms and were they simply plaebos but she would not be drawn on that and simply answered that they are herbal and no more good or bad for you than drinking Cammomile tea which apparently is good for stress. The fact that I have been dealing with this alone for some time and had only now visited a professional indicated to her how brave I was but I confess I did feel a little like she was a tad condescending and wondered if she truly believed I was ill. To be fair to her, she did say to come back if I needed anyone to talk to before my counselling and that she could prescribe me Beta-Blockers if I thought them nessecary but, for now, I turned them down...

That was last week and I thought by taking the Kalms regulary that they might be working a little and helping me de-stress a little at work. But these last two days off, have felt very tense and emotional and had some of the worst mood swings I have had for awhile- blowing little things out of all proportion more than I would normally. Is this a side-effect of the Kalms? I don't know. Is this just the depression rearing it's head to let me know it's stil here? That too is an option but I am startiong to consider going back for the Blockers the doctor said she would prescribe. Mrs.Sparky says wait and see how my session goes with counsellor but I am not sure how much good talking will do and am a little sceptical. On the other hand, do I really want to be taking prescription meds? That could be a downward spiral from which it could be difficult to turn back- I am sure it would not make a big difference to the rest of the world but I am reluctant to go down this route and part of me would rather welcome the counselling. At any rate, I am nearly out of Kalms so have bought something else from herbal shop called Quiet Life which apparently do a similar thing to Kalms in that they help with anxiety. Will see if they make any difference as they have some similar but some different properties.

Work is very hard at minute and finding it hard to cope and money is tight and have been putting off something that might bring a little more in even though I know I shouls sit down and do it. It involves claiming back some bank charges on the grounds that I am in financial trouble. The sooner I do it, the sooner I can maybe get a bit of money- others have done it and if you can prove you are in dire straits, most banks will pay up. Have been feeling unmotivated at mo though so that is why haven't done it also been concentrating on trying to break through this depression I am under. The ironic thing is that that might help and yet still I feel too lethargic and uninspired to do it. I will try to do it after I fginish this entry perhaps though I also wanmt to take Emilie over to the swings. Some quiet time before I leave for work at 3 pm may be just what the doctor ordered and if nothing else, it will put a big smile on my daughters face as she has not been over to our local swings yet this year because of bad weather on my days off or been too wet!

I am currently reading THE TERROR BY DAN SIMMONS for those are interested. It is about the lost Franklin expedition in 1845 to the Arctic where both ships, The Erebus and The Terror, become locked in ice and slowly they begin to run out of food when it becomes apparent that much of the tinned goods they brought with them is putrid. After two years being trapped in this desolate waste-land, something begins picking off the Crew members; emerging from the ice, sleet and snow to snatch able seamen and carry them off only to return parts of their bodies, or in one case a head, almost like trophies. It is an awesome book and very chilling and one of the best books I have read in a while. I would seriously reccommend it.....Am not even half way through and I am impresed by what I have read.

That is all for now......will update shortly xxxxx Sparky xxxx